I’m sure we’ve all had at least one toxic person in our lives, and if you haven’t then you can consider yourself lucky. I won’t name any names, but I struggled with a toxic person who just so happened to also be a family member (great combination, am I right?). When it comes to toxic people, especially when they’re a family member or close friend, you’re almost always faced with the question, “What do I do about this?”. You don’t want to lose that friend or family member because you care about them, or maybe you’re afraid to upset them, or you’re afraid of certain repercussions. Dealing with toxic family members can be extremely challenging, especially if you live with them.
After years of suffering at the hands of my previously mentioned toxic individual, I decided to cut them out of my life. I had reached a point where the damage that had been done was becoming difficult to cope with, and I realized that they would never change, so I needed to take a stand and do what was best for me. Cutting them out of my life was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, not because I would miss them, but because in order to do that I had to cut ties with someone very important to me. That being said, it was also the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
After I had cut ties with the toxic individual in my life, I started to notice a huge change in myself. It was almost like a curtain was lifted and I could see life clearly for the first time. Lies began to unravel, I began to question my negative opinions about myself, and I began to learn who I was outside of that toxic situation. Granted this wasn’t an immediate change, and it wasn’t an easy one. It took a lot of effort on my part, and a lot of support from my wonderful husband.
Not a lot of people understand why I did what I did. How could I cut a family member out of my life? After all, they’re your family, doesn’t that mean you should love and be loyal to them no matter what? No. Absolutely NOT. Why should being family give someone the right to treat you badly and get away with it? It doesn’t! A family should be there to love and support you, not tear you down. Of course, there are times you won’t get along or times you might be angry at each other, but when someone is consistently toxic to you, even after you’ve tried to speak to them about it or get them help and they refuse, then they don’t deserve to have you in their life.
What about if your relationship with a friend is toxic? I’m talking genuinely unfixable, cruel and manipulative person kind of toxic. Everybody has their little quirks but if someone is a truly bad individual, dump ’em. They’re not worth your mental health and well being. I personally don’t believe there’s “a little good in everybody”. Maybe that’s because of the way I grew up or my experiences with people, but I believe there are just some people who are genuinely bad people. Maybe think about it as some people aren’t completely evil, there are times they can be a little less evil? Or something like that. Even if you believe that there is a little good in everyone, if the majority of the time that person is a bad person, they’re still not worth it. Just because they do something nice every once and a while, doesn’t erase all the negative things they’ve done.
So why should you kick toxic people out of your life for good? Because you deserve to be treated well. You deserve to have high standards for how someone treats you, regardless of whether that person is family or not, in fact ESPECIALLY if that person is family. Just like others expect you to respect them, you also deserve to be respected. You deserve to be loved, supported, and treated fairly. Don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise. Just like the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Just because you have to cut this person out of your life, even if it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done, doesn’t mean you’re at a dead end. You have this one life, wouldn’t you rather spend it with great people instead of toxic ones? I know I would.
Whew, that was intense. I think I got a little ranty just now, but as you can probably tell, this topic is very important to me and I feel very passionate about it. For those of you dealing with a toxic person in your life, I hope I was able to give you some insight. Until next time!
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