Have you started to feel the romance in your marriage sort of, shall we say … waning? Well, you’re not alone! It’s perfectly normal for things to slow down in every marriage, you get into your routines and habits and pretty soon time just flies right on by! Below I have listed just a few tips for things you and your spouse (it will take both of you!) can do to help introduce some romance back into your marriage.
Don’t stop dating
Most likely one of the most exciting, romantic times of your relationship was when you and your spouse were just starting to date. Everything was new and shiny, you were most likely still learning new things about each other, AKA the “honeymoon phase”. Eventually, all the mystery starts to disappear and with it, the excitement. But that doesn’t have to happen!
I started to see this happening in my own relationship. We were both getting caught up in the daily grind, we both work full time so our schedule pretty much consisted of: wake up, work, come home, tackle the to-do list, sleep, repeat. Of course, there was more to it than that, but you get the point. My biggest fear was that we would start to drift apart or lose interest in our relationship so, we decided to have a weekly date night.
Every Wednesday, unless something unavoidable comes up, we have our date night. If we want to save money that week we stay in and have a movie night or play board games. Sometimes we go out to dinner and a movie, but no matter what we do, we do it together. We put aside all of our work and other distractions and just spend some quality time together.
I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to have a change of pace. Date night can be a lot of fun because there’s no limit to the creativity! Revisit the beginning of your relationship, it can do wonders for your marriage.
It’s the little things
I’m not talking about little gifts, although those are certainly great and not to be overlooked. It’s the little actions, the little ways you show you care that can really add up. The little things are also the easiest to forget, and when you start to forget all the little things, they turn into one big thing, and that’s when problems can arise.
For example, whenever we go to a restaurant, my husband pulls out my chair for me. I’m not exactly sure when he started doing this but I love it. It makes me feel so special. Or whenever I get home from work, if he beats me home, he’ll lay out comfortable clothes for me and pour me a glass of wine.
What I like to do for him is write little notes and put them in his lunches, usually wishing him a good day or telling him to be safe and that I love him. Or sometimes I’ll clean out his car for him so he doesn’t have to worry about it.
It’s those little, thoughtful actions like that that mean so much. Even if you have to set yourself a reminder, try to remember to do something nice for your spouse.
Take care of yourself
Once I reached adulthood I discovered a new point to add to my list of qualities I find attractive in a man. It’s a mental list I’m assuming almost everyone has. Or at least I hope so… Anyway, I find it to be hugely attractive when my husband takes care of himself. And I don’t say that like he never did before my epiphany, it was just something I realized.
My man is working his butt off to stay healthy, and I try to do the same. Not just because we want to feel good about ourselves but because we want to be together as long as possible. It’s hard to say exactly when your time is up but I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t invest in our health. Who knows how many extra years we could be tacking on?
I know I talk about this a lot but that’s because I can’t stress how important it is! Good communication is the foundation of your relationship. It is the #1 reason why my husband and I have such a strong relationship because we share everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I wrote an entire post on the importance of communication which you can find here.
Live in the now
I feel as if I’m constantly having an internal battle with myself. I love my phone and computer and I admit, I have become dependent on them in many ways. But for some time now I’ve been noticing how consumed we’ve become with our electronics. And for what? For selfies? For likes? For talking with people we can’t even see?
I’m sure I sound about 100 years old saying this (I’m 22) but I’ve started to realize those things aren’t as important as what’s happening in my life, now, right in front of me. Which is a strange thing for a blogger to say considering what I do so you can see how I feel conflicted.
It isn’t that I don’t enjoy blogging or speaking with people over the phone or computer, and I intend to continue to do that. It’s just that I’ve recognized this desire for something real. It’s very important to me that I make time for my husband or my other family and friends. Whenever we go on a date or are just spending time together I feel that it’s important that I put my phone away and just focus on the now.
This is something that can be easy to overlook and hard to try and change, but it can be so worth it in the long run. It would be a shame to realize that the whole time you were focused on your phone, your life just passed you by.
Try something new
My husband and I are not only creatures of habit, but we are also homebodies. Which makes this particular tip a real struggle for us. Sometimes we actually have to force ourselves to leave the house and be social. Usually, once we’re out and about we have a great time, it’s the working up the energy that’s the problem. That being said, it’s important to make new memories together and to change up your boring old routine! You can take a cooking class together, go to the zoo, go camping, whatever you can think of, get out and do it!
Being active will help keep your relationship strong!
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